Thursday, February 7, 2008

Soul Not Included

Seeking Illustrator(s) in Houston, Texas

Reply to:
Date: 2008-01-23, 11:37AM CST is a rapidly growing business based in Houston, Texas, with additional offices located in Arizona, North Carolina, and Virginia. We specialize in the design and development of highly engaging web-based training of people who kill people, including award winning game-based learning programs about how to kill people used by the U.S. military.

As a killer illustrator for, you will create illustrations that depict the concept or theory of the torture techniques being taught. A successful candidate must be able to demonstrate technical design skills that include storyboard illustrations of successful air raids and moving illustrations of families running for their lives for animated projects. The successful candidate will have no qualms about aiding the military-industrial complex, an enthusiasm for creative, challenging, deadly and innovative work and be able to multi-task, prioritize victims, and work well independently and within teams. You should also demonstrate a willingness to teach others how to kill people, learn new technologies and an ability to produce extremely professional, detail-oriented designs that will impress high-ranking sexually-repressed military bureaucrats. Successful candidates will possess exceptional communication skills for interacting with our customers, cuddling and spooningwith our design and production teams.

•Able to show a diverse portfolio of work, including business illustrations, graphs, people, cartoons, objects and environments
•Proficient with PC/Windows based software programs
•Self motivated, able to work with minimal supervision, and exhibits excellent initiative
•Ability to work under a tight production schedule, to handle multiple projects simultaneously, and meet deadlines
•Must be a team player, work well with others, and be committed to the deadly goals of the team and the company
Lack of Understanding that you are helping kill people
Lack of Caring about hurting the world economy

Benefits offers an exceptional benefits and compensation package including:
•100% company paid employee health insurance premium
Complete soul replacement