Douglas: "The result is a mixed bag, with enough strong work to more than justify a visit to the gallery... Artists can make all the references they want, but the work needs to do something more. Otherwise, they might as well just write an essay."
Nancy: "Wit, satire, and biting social commentary rule the walls at the 2008 Houston Area Exhibition at the Blaffer Gallery... humor can be found in Jeff Williams’s grungy set of Venetian blinds, Thickly Settled, which address a kind of neglect using amazingly convincing synthetic dust."
Beth: "There are some works in the show that slightly miss the mark, but it's certainly worth seeing. Curator Claudia Schmuckli's decision to limit the number of artists included and let them show larger installations and bodies of work was a wise one."
Jean-Louis Ernest Meissonier Barricade in the Rue De La Mortellerie June 1848 (Memory of Civil War), 1849
Because Obama is a walled citadel. And it's a pun on The Clash. How else can you describe the necessary capitulation that comes with writing about art? The myth of the genius and the rumor of principled ideology. Inside the system means, as one Alaska state senator would say; "I'll git 'er done. I'll sell my soul to the devil to git 'er done."
So how does writing about art help artists? It includes them in the system. They become a cog in a capitalist system most accurately portrayed in The Emperor's New Clothes. Or There Will Be Blood. Through speech and acts and faith arbitrary values are assigned to arbitrary items. People of a certain wealth will purchase them. Sometimes they are bought and sold as stocks are, with the artist and her projected clout seen as a dividend and the object (loosely) defined as a certificate of ownership in a piece of that clout. Other times people buy because they like an artwork. Sometimes it is only the physical aspects that sell art, but that's how Santa Fe landscape painters sell their wares. Like tchotchkes.
Rather, the majority of the artworld, and all the people inside it, thrive on ancillary information. The ability of an artist to be successful is directly related to how interesting the breath surrounding their object (or not) is. What the fuck does that mean? It is people. We are soylent green.
I've been obsessed with politics for the past few months. I didn't write about art for a while, but I still pored over websites and videos, dropping my two cents into the cavernous mouth of the interwebs. I rediscovered a love for political cartoons. Bookmark that link. It's good shit. The underbelly of politics is that is all about people, and there is nothing we can do about it. Voting for principles is a hollow endeavor, fooling both the voter and the votee into thinking that this is anything but a personal relationship. I'm glad I realized that writing about art is the same sham.
Art Gous, "Come On Down!!!"
I started writing for Artforum a few weeks ago. I got giddy like a schoolgirl and pissed myself. When the Houston Press called I couldn't resist jumping back in. I'm very sorry that I didn't write any B.S. for so long. I couldn't resist after I saw a poster from a Republican's website. How can I refuse being the difference between Osama and Obama?
I just rated every gallery in Houston- and unless you click that link and say something yourself then my word is paramount. Excuse me but your authority is leaking. Derek pointed out to me that a tribe.net group I started five years ago and forgot about soon after is still a hub for a community, a convenient ledge to take shelter and a group defined by itself. No one to point at them. The greatest thing is that we have so many new places to percolate. Taggers FAILE and Banksy sell direct to the consumer, cutting out the middleman. Free is not just for wine to ply your wares, it's a justifiable marketing tool. Both artists sell their work for thousands of dollars. They are traded on Ebay like hedge funds. They live online, their market is able to see their work from around the globe without touching a gallery press release once.
Ha ha ha. So funny! I can't not write about art right now. This'll be too much fun. As we explode.
Now it doesn’t bother me that they cost twice as much per ounce as any other energy drink. Or that they have introduced a new and legal high to America. No, it bothers me that Red Bull decided to throw their bullshit Art of the Can in Houston.
Three and a half minutes of bullshit shoveling, courtesy Shelby Hodge (who knows this is beneath her)
Haven’t heard of it? Seen the billboards of bauxite pterodactyls? Or their web ads with a shiny tin cowboy boot? Hmm… then you must not be one of the five hundred artists who submitted to the exhibit. Pardon me while I tell those artists FUCK YOU YOU GOT HOSED. Excuse me, but I had a feeling one of them might read this and I couldn’t resist the urge to publicly insult someone. If you are sitting next to someone who entered the show tell ‘em for me.
Their ridiculousness is only eclipsed by the willingness of advertisers to use, exploit and degrade you. Three things strike me as particularly stupid in this endeavor, an artist’s willingness to forgo one’s judgment of materials, the inestimable monetary cost of the project and the complacency and triviality of the artworld.
Materials, malleable objects and ideas, are explored through trial and error and practice. Conceptual artists screaming in a dark room go through the same shtick as a watercolor artist painting on a Sunday afternoon. Exploring materials, finding what you like to work with is a big part of artistic identity. Warhol had silkscreens, Rauschenberg had ink transfers and Oldenburg had cloth. Robyn O’Neil has pencils, Bert Long has ice and the Art Guys have their bodies.
Why would you limit yourself to a prescribed, corporate material? Barring an intensely enlightened group working together for a very long time I would not believe an exhibit of one material could ever be justifiable. The fact that the show looked like a high school hallway on parent’s night was unavoidable, but shame on you guys for getting duped into thinking this could ever be worth it beyond that navel-gazing moment of delight that comes with being included. On the team.
By the way, in getting on this team, how much did you guys spend on those cans you’ve woven into dragons, mustaches and the Statue of Liberty? Didn’t think about it did ya. Or maybe it just blew by; you were so high on fructose syrup and guarana. No entry fee for the exhibit? What a crock of bullshit. It’d cost you $200 to construct a spaceman out of your product’s encasement. Maybe it only cost a hundred bucks to cover that guitar in $4 eight-ounce cans. It’s kind of like usury.
Arthur shortens his name to 'Art' when he signs a painting.
Does it seem stupid to enter yet? Or would you like to hear about Arthur Vaisvilas’ piece? The hapless son-of-a-bitch drew The Ramones wearing Red Bull t-shirts as they rock out in a stilted colored pencil attempt at thankfulness. Unless you’re in high school Arthur, you should be punched in the face. You might be big so I’m not gonna do it- but The Ramones deserve better. The oodles of cash Red Bull throws around all over the country on fun, stupid shit is reprehensible if you’re not having fun, but if you’re part of the crowd you may feel some sense of elation, like there’s something new happening and you’re in the thick of it. Shut the fuck up. It’s all the caffeine.
The jittery feeling you get sometimes, when it seems like there is a comprehensive, wide-ranging spectrum of artists out there and possibilities for advancement; that means that someone should back over you with a truck. Don’t assume that those collectors and critics at the opening spell validation. I am terribly surprised at the ability to bend over backwards and lower their standards that many jurors demonstrated, as well as the media outlets and even well meaning artists.
Red Bull Air Show, Perth, Australia
Oh, I mean that I’m so surprised that they can do that when there is money involved. Did that slip my mind? Woops. As one juror stiffly said; “don’t take it so seriously, they’re not artists.” I was staggered. I kind of hoped that they were artists. I kind of believe that they are, even Arthur, and they shouldn’t have to go away when the money leaves. The kvetching that went on when the Hunting Prize patronized to artists sent the community into an uproar, but no one takes this seriously? Damned bull, I would have preferred a pinewood derby or an air show, and this will not do. At least it has proven that corporations have an extensive reach in the artworld, and to resist it is futile. I’m not drinking a can of that shit. I’ll drink the Kool-Aid.
All freeways in Texas have feeder roads running along the main thoroughfare. You can U-turn at almost any exit.
Do not depend on the posted speed limit on Houston freeways. Most traffic moves along at 75-80 miles per hour at all times.
Some freeways in Houston have up to 12 lanes of traffic. Many of the wide underground freeways are also retention ponds to slow flooding in the city.
Houston has a “Safe Clear” policy on its freeways to ease the flow; what this means is that if you break down on the freeway you must be off the side of the road within six minutes. If you are having car trouble try to get off the freeway or you will be subject to a mandatory $75 tow. Drivers with flat tires, empty gas tanks and easy-to-fix problems not in main lanes of traffic will be eligible for a free tow up to one mile.
Be aware of the erratic driving of street racers at night, usually on 610 or outside the loop to the west of the city.
I-10 Katy Freeway (E-W) Baytown and Beaumont to the east and Katy and San Antonio to the west.
Don’t drive on I-10. The I-10 and 610 Loop interchange is ranked as one of the worst in the nation and costs commuters 25 million hours of delays a year. If you can avoid the construction between Beltway 8 and 610 Loop on the west side of town then it is not so bad, but it is 12 lanes filled with big rigs on their way between California and Florida. Let’s just say they might be a little sleepy. Allen Parkway and Memorial Drive are two scenic and convenient east-west alternatives to I-10.
59 (SW-NE) Sugarland and Corpus Christi to the south and Humble (pronounced Umble) and Texarkana to the north.
59 South is one of the largest freeways in the country. Traffic is heavy outbound most afternoons and inbound on weekdays in the morning. From the Montrose neighborhood you can cross bridges over sixteen lanes of traffic at Montrose, Mandell, Dunlavy and Woodhead.
59 North is a good option to get from the Galleria to Montrose via the Shepherd exit or Downtown via the 527 Spur. The Montrose entrances to the freeway southbound are at Shepherd at Richmond and Richmond at 527 Spur. Exit 59 South at the 610 Loop North to reach the Galleria at Westheimer or the Omni Hotel at Memorial Drive.
45 (N-SE) The Woodlands and Dallas to the north and Pasadena and Galveston to the south.
45 is a useful way to reach downtown, and exits at Allen Parkway and Memorial Drive drop one off in the heart of the city. Driving south to Galveston takes an hour on average, traffic mostly occurs on early weekend afternoons when it is sunny and warm. Expect delays at ClearLake, but they are usually temporary.
The George (not W) BushIntercontinentalAirport is north of the city located past Beltway 8 between 45 North and 59 North. Either freeway will get you into the city or out to the airport. Travel time to downtown is usually an hour at high speed, but morning traffic in or afternoon outbound can be a headache. HobbyAirport is located on 45 South about 30 minutes outside the city center. The first four exits outside the 610 Loop access the airport, so if you miss a sign it’s OK.
This freeway passes the Port of Houston on the east, the Astrodome to the south, the Galleria on the west and nothing of note to the north. Every 610 junction is a traffic hazard. The traffic on 610 is usually decent except to the southwest near the city of Bellaire. Whenever there is a hurricane people drive around on 610 videotaping the damage and drinking beer in the backs of trucks.
Beltway 8 (Loop) and Sam Houston Parkway and Sam Houston Tollway
The Beltway connects most of the suburbs of Houston. At some points it is free, but at times it is a tollway. If you have gotten on the Beltway at a junction, the first exit afterward is usually free.
288 (S) Begins at 59-45 junction in downtown Houston, south to Lake Jackson and SurfsideBeach.
288 can be a welcome alternative to 59 when the freeway is backed up outbound. Use 610 West to arrive at the Galleria.
290 (NW) Begins at 610 Loop northwest corner, west to Cypress and Austin.
Heading to Austin? Watch your speed in the outlying suburb of JerseyVillage.
Art Car Parade on Allen Parkway
Other major thoroughfares
Allen Parkway- a pleasant drive along BuffaloBayouPark, Allen Parkway connects Shepherd Drive to downtown Houston and I-45, with exits at regular intervals. The parkway is a winding road with at 35 mph speed limit. East-West.
Memorial Drive- a bit straighter than Allen Parkway, Memorial runs parallel on the other side of the bayou. From 601 West to downtown, exits are located at Shepherd and Waugh in Montrose. There is no Montrose exit, use Shepherd or Waugh as an alternative and turn left at Westheimer Road.
Montrose Boulevard- Montrose splits from Main Street at the Mecom Fountain next to Hermann Park and proceeds north through the Museum District and the Montrose neighborhood. At Washington Boulevard and through the Heights Montrose is known as Studemont, and past 610 on the northside as Studewood. Some traffic, lots of restaurants, museums and clubs. North-South.
Alabama Street-Alabama runs parallel to Westheimer and Richmond, with the former to the north and latter to the south. It begins in the east at the University of Houston and runs through the 3rd Ward and Montrose past the University of Saint Thomas. Alabama continues until 610, where it abruptly ends at the Galleria Mall. Alabama is the most laid-back of the major inner loop streets and is recommended if afternoon traffic is bad elsewhere. East-West.
Galveston was a thriving metropolis in the year 1900, when a Category 4 hurricane leveled much of the city and was the deadliest natural disaster to ever strike the United States. The vulnerability of the city’s shipping trade encouraged inland development, and paved the way for the Port of Houston, which gave the city its moniker “Where 17 Railroads Meet the Sea”.
Today much has changed in the region, but Galveston is still a city of late 19th century architecture. Many of the large mansions on Broadway are from the era before The Great Storm. The CityCemetery along Broadway Boulevard holds tombs, statues and graves dating back to 1847, many done in a style reminiscent of New Orleans. Much of the city is still Victorian homes with hurricane shutters, much like Key West.
Much of downtown has been restored faithfully, and husks of old red brick industry are visible from the pier alongside the revitalized tourist industry on “The Strand”. The Strand features many small shops, candy stores, art galleries and margarita stands, attracting many visitors for spring break. Both families and college students flock to Galveston in the spring, and local motorcycle clubs mix with tourists waiting to embark from cruise liners during the summer.
Galveston's beaches are much cleaner than in the past. With the island's population showing greater concern for their environment, washed-up seaweed is now only moved back from the water's edge to allow the natural buildup and preservation of the beaches. Gulf waters are usually quite warm, owing to equatorial flow into the Gulf of Mexico and the shallow waters of the Texas coast. Looking to the future of the energy trade in renewable sources, Houston companies have recently begun exploration to create wind farms off the coast of Galveston.
MoodyGardens
MoodyGardens is a major attraction in Galveston; the three glass pyramids hold an aquarium, rainforest biosphere and science themed activities along with an IMAX theater and Palm Beach, a landscaped sandy area with freshwater lagoons.
The Seawall is a great place for a walk on the beach, the wall facing the ocean is covered in murals and large graffiti tags. A 12 foot barrier built to protect the city from coastal flooding, the Seawall’s absence on the edges of the city had prompted most buildings to be built on stilts or risk their lives.
In the Battle of Galveston in 1862, Union forces occupied the Confederate city for three months, blockading the largest Texas port. Confederate troops covered riverboats in bales of cotton to attempt to armor them against Union cannon. On New Year’s Day 1863 two Confederate riverboats tried to sneak into GalvestonBay. One ship was immediately sunk, and a small ground force was repelled by six Union warships in the harbor.
Confederate Irregulars Force Union Soldiers into the Sea
The apparent Union victory was thwarted when the ConfederateBayouCity overpowered the USS Lane’s crew and the USS Westfield became moored on a sandbar. Both sides called a truce to consider their awkward positions. Captain Renshaw of the Westfield botched an attempt to destroy his ship to keep it out of enemy hands, and explosives killed Renshaw and 13 members of his crew. The other Union ships, confused if not defeated, headed out into open sea. The city remained in Southern hands for the remainder of the war, but the devastating blockade was restored in ten days.
Suburbanites have built the Kemah harbor into a beautiful recreation area. Sailboats dot Galveston Bay, and Landry’s Restaurant has developed a Coney Island-style boardwalk, complete with carnival games and amusement park rides. The Boardwalk Bullet roller coaster was completed last summer.
Space Center Houston
Johnson Space Center, the home of NASA, is in Clear Lake. Drawing many scientists and engineers from around the world, NASA and their thousands of contractors have brought a lot of technical prowess and entrepreneurial spirit to Houston, and crossover with the energy industry is fertile ground for industry. Space Center Houston is an attraction at Johnson Space Center geared towards families that features space-themed rides and educational programming.
Uptown is what the Galleria Area would like to be called, and in relation to Montrose and Downtown the analogy is apt. The Galleria could give Beverly Hills a run for its money in plastic surgery and Bentleys.
A popular attraction for family photos and romantic walks, The Williams Waterwall is a multi-story sculptural fountain which sits at the south end of Williams Tower in Uptown. The tower, the fountain and its surrounding park were designed by architect Philip Johnson.
Many streets are excessively large, with eight lanes in some places. Street level architectural flourishes verge on the futuristic. The Galleria attracts the most protests in Houston due to high traffic, difficult police enforcement and the ability to easily cause havoc.
The best think about Upper Kirby is House of Pies. This 24 hour establishment holds tender memories for many, and they have the greasy Monte Christo and O’Brien potatoes to prove it. The diner is always packed, but the crowd changes from elderly couples in the morning to second-hand businessmen and tourists in the afternoon. By nightfall groups of high school students have drank their weight in coffee. In the middle of the night the restaurant is affectionately known as the “House of Guys” for the flamboyant groups on their way home from a night on the town mixing with sleep deprived college students and tables of policemen. Offering a selection of early forty cakes and pies, there is never a bad time for House of Pies.
Driving down Westheimer, Alabama or Richmond will get you to either Montrose or the Galleria, and the streets of Upper Kirby are lined with many replica telephone booths which resemble those in London, as well as replica British mail boxes.
Reenactment of Ant Farm's Kidnapping Buckminster Fuller julia.in.the.rye
Just south of the 59 Freeway on Kirby Drive, RiceVillage is the local spot for the affluent neighborhoods of University Place and WestUniversity. Anchored by a busy Half Price Books at the corner of University Avenue, the Village has grown incredibly over the last few years, but if you can bear the traffic there is still a significant charm to the place. In addition to good shopping, the Village holds three French restaurants, two Japanese, two Chinese, two Italian, a Mexican, two Spanish, a Mediterranean, a Vietnamese, an Indian, and three Thai restaurants.The best Reuben in the world, with purple sauerkraut, can be had at Kahn’s Delicatessen on Rice Boulevard.Next door at Salento the cappuccino is always hot, the conversation in French and the music live jazz.
Just off the Kirby exit at US59, at the corner of Westpark, Houston’s Restaurant serves exquisite meals that are both delicate and hearty. Nearby is the decadent Goode Co. Barbeque and around the corner on Westpark is Goode Co. Seafood, where everything is is fresh out of the Gulf. We always get a dozen oysters and iced tea.
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